18 November 2013

Coffee detox day 15.

Today will mark the 15th day of my coffee detox process, and I so still want coffee, like right now. It is, to me, an escape, from the intensity of emotions I feel throughout the work week. Last night, I was lying in bed, reading through my past journal entries, from June through this month, and recognized that my craving for coffee had returned full force. As I lay there, reading one journal entry after another, and enjoying myself -- sounds kinda self-centered, but there is something really therapeutic about reading your thoughts from several months ago on daily life -- when I recognized a resurfacing of my coffee craving. How could this be, I pondered, given the fact that I thought habits were supposed to die out after two weeks; that is, that cravings dissipate given a two week hiatus from the source of the craving. Guess that's where the other saying comes in -- Old habits die hard. They truly do. I resigned myself to drink coffee the next morning (today). I was determined to have one cup, nothing more, and then continue back on track with the elimination process. However, when I woke up this morning, I realized this might not be such a great idea. My moods have been so much better since giving it up and having coffee at this point I feel would set me back. Am I still craving it? Absolutely. Could it be because I smelled it several times last night after dinner, just as a feel-good mechanism? Not sure, possibly, because I have not be craving coffee this intensely since the first few days of quitting cold turkey. About the gluten free diet, I'm not sure if this is contributing to the persistent rash on my face. It's making me want to just have gluten to be rid of it, but I think it might be part of the healing in removing it from my system. Could also the hot showers I've been taking be a factor? Most likely, yes. It's a combination of really dry skin and a red rash. Anyway, that is the one element of this whole detox process that has perturbed me the most. While all other aspects seem to be improving, my complexion seems to be headed in the wrong direction, and that to me, is frustrating. My goal is to give it maybe another week to see if there's any improvement.

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