15 December 2013

Work week outlook.

Every week is the same, in that I set goals for happiness during the work week, that are rarely achieved. By the end of the week, I'm tired, I'm worn down, unrecognizable even to myself. My stomach aches. My heart longs for peace and distance from the drudgery of this soul-sucking job. This week is the week that I intend to follow through with my goal to maintain a sense of inner peace and order. My health depends on it. It's not worth the pain, the tears, the stomach aches, this job. It's not worth it. It's toxic to me, detrimental to my well being, and a change is needed. If it continues down this path as it has for quite some time, I'm out the door. In the meantime, as I work towards getting out, when time permits that I pursue other avenues, I plan on putting less pressure on myself at work. It's not getting me anywhere but in a hole of misery. This week will be different. I will take breaks. I will listen to music. I will meditate. I will do yoga. I will exercise. I will take walks in the cold. I will continue with writing my novel. I will release those fears that forcefully attempt to take hold. I will put my anxieties in God's hands and ask that he direct me to where I need to be. I will pray. I will mean what I say and say what I mean. I will focus on my goals. I will explore other options.

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