30 December 2015

So today has been a rather good day thus far. I had an interview this morning and it was held by two women, one of whom I knew, which I didn't realize until I entered the room. This woman worked for my family doctor all throughout my childhood. I remembered seeing her there. She handled the front desk administrative duties and worked with her mother. I remember the past few times going to my family doctor, wondering where she went and why she no longer worked there.

As I entered the room, she held my resume up to her face and said, 'Wait, I know you,' and lowered the paper to reveal her face. She looked familiar, and it was then that she mentioned my family doctor's name, and I told her I had wondered where she had gone. It's funny how life comes full circle sometimes and you run into familiar people in the weirdest of places and scenarios.

It reminded me of a few months ago, feeling really guilty for how I had treated this one coworker at my job prior to my most recent job. This guy was a friendly guy, but he got on my nerves at times, and there were times that the stress got to me and I took my frustration out on him. I can think of three or four instances that I really cringe to recall, because I really wasn't the nicest to him. One day, he actually came into the office with a cat calendar, somehow knowing that I'd love it, and I was so thankful, but secretly wondered how he could be nice to such a b----, given how I'd acted toward him those several times. Somehow he always rose above any underlying tension to extend an olive branch through striking up conversation with me.

When I left that company, actually resigning without another job lined up because I was so fed up with the job, I later thought of how I had treated him, and felt very guilty. Interestingly, the office where I had worked shut down only five or six months after I had left, and I ended up finding out through a coworker, whose husband worked for one of the other offices that had closed within the state. I started to think more about this coworker, and at one random time, this wife of the other former coworker told me that she'd run into the guy of whom I'd been thinking, let's call him WM. So she mentioned her husband had some of his coworker friends over and WM was one of the attendees. She mentioned how he struck her as a bit odd and she asked me about this, and I was so surprised that she'd actually mentioned him when I'd been thinking about him and feeling bad about how I had treated him.

I told her he was so nice and I wished I could speak with him. Then... sure enough... so there was a night or two that I prayed to God that I would somehow be able to reach closure with WM.

Well, don't you know it but not long after, I went to NYC with my friend -- last April -- to see Jessie Ware in concert at Terminal 5. On the way home, I raced to catch the train and my friend actually kept the conductor waiting and they had a bit of a back and forth as the conductor wanted the doors closed and my friend kept urging him to wait and called for me as I was racing down the stairs of the escalator. I was able to board, by God's will, and so I'm standing in the aisle, sweating and with my heart beating a mile a minute because of the intensity of having been the cause of the hold up and having everyone on board witness. A few guys up front joked, saying my name, mimicking my friend, who had been calling to me, and said 'geez, like it's the end of the world,' since there had been such a fuss between the conductor and my friend to keep the car waiting for me. I felt so embarrassed and kept my head down, my body shaking with nervousness and sweat pooling on my skin.

A few stops later, the car starts to unload and is not as jam-packed as initially. Anyway, so the third or so stop in, I take a seat, but don't look around, still feeling ashamed that everyone had witnessed me making a fool of myself, given the whole boarding fiasco. Shortly thereafter, the guy next to me gets up, a stop or so later, and I see that it's WM! I'm like 'WM! Omg! I didn't know you were sitting there.' I then asked him for his contact info and he told me his email address. I felt so ecstatic and befuddled that fate literally placed me beside him in the train car, when I'd been wanting to express my apologies for my behavior in the office. Well... I did get my closure to a large degree as we exchanged emails and I said I really felt bad for being rude to him at times, and he said he understood, given the stress of the environment.

I guess I just can't help but think of how things sometimes manifest when you ponder certain things. It's weird how the universe works like that, but I truly do believe sometimes you can manifest your desires through prayer and contemplation...

There is a book I'm reading right now which touches on the topic of making sure to think positively, and you might not see the importance of such a notion, and it's hard to think positive sometimes when you're feeling down or just are in a rut, but I think it is sometimes a good idea to just let go and embrace the present, and see what gifts unfold from there.

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