Because I have an hour, actually 20 minutes, remaining prior to The Bachelorette, I thought I'd quickly write a post about my day, so I can reflect on what went down and how I felt. The focus is coffee. I must comment first on the fact that I only had one fourth cup of coffee today, which is a milestone for me, considering I love my coffee and am generally desperate for at least my one cup. Lately, I've been indulging more and more as it's my favorite fix, seriously. When I wake up, it's something I look forward to and crave, above all else. However, the upside to not having it (or having less of it) is that I don't feel as anxious and irritable. This is a definite upside. Yesterday, I had two cups as well as a row and a half of chocolate chip cookies and boy was I on overdrive, and consequently not in the best mood. My body was unappreciative and I felt out of sorts, heart-wise and anxiety wise.
Even though I have been vowing to cut down and eliminate coffee, except as a treat occasionally, it's been 'matter over mind' and I have been unable to convince my mind to get on board with my plan of action. I have gotten into this mode of complacency and have had trouble making any strides on cutting back because I have felt I deserve it and it tastes good and I look forward to it. However, there are truly some noteworthy negatives -- for me anyway -- which are worth considering, which result from my indulging at liberty.
Last night after reflecting on the fact that I don't do well with much caffeine, as I'm super sensitive to the drug, I followed through with my objective today! It feels good to know that I didn't give into temptation, but didn't withhold it either. If it were a trivial reason for which I wanted to cut back on my intake, I would continue onward with my one to two cups on the daily. However, I notice I become extremely hyper and dare say, angry, throughout the day, when I drink even just one cup; two cups and I'm beyond jittery. Honestly, I don't drink coffee for the pick-me-up. I drink it solely for the taste; there's no flavor like it (except for chocolate of course). There are some qualms I have with regard to decaf, which is why I'm not venturing down that path; namely, the chemical process required. Actually, I might check out some Trader Joe's decaf as it's Swiss water processed which is safe.
Anyway, the point is that today my body felt much more in balance and less stressed and anxiety-ridden. Fortunately, I didn't have many withdrawal effects as I only felt/feel a bit tired, which is a good thing in my book. I'd rather be slightly tired that overly wired. Also, it feels like my thoughts are not racing a mile a minute as they have been, and I can think calmly and clearly. Although, it could be that the meditation meetup I attended this weekend may have contributed to my feelings of ease a bit; more on that later. In essence though, I'm proud of myself for not having overdone it in the coffee department today and will continue with my efforts and possibly post how it goes as I move along. It's not about depriving myself of my beloved coffee, but rather allowing myself that which does not detract from my well being. This is the ultimate goal.