Don't let people get you down, and if they try, get back up and keep kicking.

This is a motivational post for those having a rough go. Sound similar? I know, I posted something like this yesterday. What can I say? I'm feeling Gandi. More like Winston Churchill, or basically anyone who has ever recommended letting go of those who let you go or walk away from you, disappoint you, push you out the door.

Don't let it get you down, any of it. Keep striving for what you hope to achieve in this life.

Sometimes, especially in times like now, I start to question everything and wonder who is this person inside of me? Can I truly do it? Can I accomplish what I always hoped to accomplish? Well, yes. I believe I can, and so should you.

If you will yourself to do anything, it can and will happen. It's all a learning experience.

Sure, this is a bit jumbled since I'm not outright specifying what it is exactly has occurred to me that is causing me to invoke this pep talk. Well, let's just say things in life haven't exactly transpired as planned, or as I envisioned exactly, but I can understand why what has happened has happened. I am learning from the distant and recent past. I'm on a path of realization.

The one main point I hope to convey is if something has happened of what appears to be negative consequence, look closer and you shall find the truth.

There was a wise person who said: ignoring the facts does not change the facts. I apologize for not giving this person due credit in the form of a name and if anyone knows who said this, please tell me and I will properly credit the individual by name. There is another wise individual who said we only find the truth by searching internally.

I believe both of the above quotes to be profoundly enlightening. Such is true and I find time and time again when I go into escapist or avoidance mode, I in essence, stunt my growth and understanding. When I search externally and look to others for guidance and advice in terms of life situations and how to deal, I remain at a distance from the truth.

As I stood in the shower today, I realized that it's possible to look at only one facet of an issue and miss the full picture. So I encourage you to look within and carve out the whole, and you will thereby achieve truth, understand the facts, and experience a sense of understanding and peace. Just try it.

My meditation practice

I have been meditating relatively consistently for about two months. When I first started, I was excited. I found that it did help calm my mind to some extent. However, the effects were not drastic and rather disappointing after the first week. I still felt anxiety and fear looming before, during, and after my meditation. This led me to question the benefits of meditation. I thought to myself, 'Is this doing more harm than good?' 'This might actually be making me feel worse.'

While meditation has not freed me from my anxiety which was my initial hope, the process of meditation has been rather enlightening. My anxiety has not lifted as much as I would like, but I am a work in progress. It has become apparent that meditation is not a cure-all; it's not a magical elixir that can relieve me of all of life's worries. Expecting meditation to instantly provide relief from sadness, pain, or any other negative thought or feeling is unrealistic. When practicing meditation, I need to do away with my expectations. I need not strive for peace and a sense of calm because when I try to achieve serenity, my mind rebels against me, and anxiety takes hold. Likewise, when I try to fight off feelings of pain, hurt, anxiety, sadness, and frustration, these emotions and thoughts intensify. I have realized that trying to get rid of or produce an emotion, has an opposite and undesirable effect.

If you analyze my above-referenced thoughts, you might ask, 'Why can't I strive for anxiety and in turn effectuate happiness and tranquility.' I would conjecture the answer to be: it is difficult to trick yourself into thinking or feeling a certain way. It seems akin to striving for happiness, because isn't that essentially what you're trying to do?

I think the best approach is to just allow your thoughts to flow freely without trying to force anything really. To be honest, I am feeling a bit doubtful and fearful about my next meditation session, because it might lead to the discomfort and anxiety I experienced during tonight's session. However, rather than struggling to ward myself of these negative thoughts, I am going to accept them. After all, I realize that these thoughts will eventually surrender and pass as all thoughts do.