My tips for quieting an overactive mind and achieving a sense of calm.

This post is for all of the overthinkers out there; those whose are bombarded with a seemingly unending stream of unconnected thoughts that traverse ever so swiftly through the universe that is our mind. The big challenge when it comes to calming an overactive mind is somehow not allowing the negative or fearful thoughts to have power over you; the type of power that manifests itself in the form of anxiety and physical discomfort. If you are reading this and interested in learning of my tips to try to ease your mind and benefit your emotional well-being, you probably have exhibited some of the symptoms that characterize anxiety. Chest tightness, rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, a sense of uneasiness or looming fear, are all example symptoms of anxiety.

Meditation is thought of as a prime technique to quiet the mind and to enable one to engage in the present and in effect, create peace and ease within one's mind and body. I have tried meditating in the past and although I only experimented with it for about a month, I grew frustrated as it wasn't having the impact that I thought it would. I was still experiencing anxiety. While I am far from having all of the answers to alleviating anxiety, having reflected on what I was doing during my meditation sessions and having done some unscientific research, I have uncovered some useful tips to ease the mind:

1) Be present: Think, hear, smell, feel, be. When your thoughts are racing and you feel your anxiety level rising, take a moment to listen to what is happening around you.

2) Turn off the radio/tv: This can be helpful when external stimuli is merely adding to to your anxiety. By turning off the radio/tv, you free up mental space and are more apt to conjure up solutions to problems that may plague you on either a subconscious or conscious level. Furthermore, not having superficial noise blaring in the background can help ground you in the present. When you are surrounded by quiet, you have no choice but to confront it, and I mean that in a good way.

3) Don't judge your thoughts: Don't pay attention to your thoughts, but don't actively ignore them either. It's a balancing act. The idea is to let your thoughts flow without "doing" anything.  This point is absolutely crucial for me. When I first learned about meditation, I was specifically told something to the effect of 'acknowledge the thought, and let it pass.' Taking this advice literally, impeded my ability to relax because I was trying so hard to notice and accept my thoughts. I made an effort not to suppress any particular thought. Unfortunately, the very act of trying not to suppress my thoughts contributed to more anxiety. I was doing too much rather than just letting my thoughts flow freely without unnecessary consideration. Exerting energy in terms of thinking is useful in certain situations. However, thinking in and of itself shouldn't be a task. It's not work. It's a natural, organic process. Thoughts don't require thoughts. Just something to think about, no pun intended.

4) Lower your expectations, or better yet, don't have expectations at all as far as your anxiety goes: Try not to criticize yourself if you are not progressing at the pace you would expect or prefer. Don't make comparisons between the past and the present, with regard to your progress or lack thereof. This correlates with tip #1.

How to meditate without actively trying

I have found that striving to achieve a sense of calm during standard meditation actually defeats the purpose. Putting too much thought and effort into releasing your worries and frustration is actually counterproductive. I know when I sit down with the intent to meditate by myself and without interruption, I often come away from the situation feeling more stressed out than had I not sat down to meditate at all. The act of trying to induce happiness has an opposite, unintended effect.

When I reflect on those moments that I have felt most at peace with myself, on a spiritual and emotional level, it becomes clear that it is because in those moments, I was allowing my thoughts to flow naturally without judgment or resistence. I was playing with my cats or sitting outside reveling at the beauty surrounding me. I was engaged in a thought-provoking conversation. I was dancing and letting the rhythm of the music inspire me. I was present, in the moment before me, soaking it in and allowing any particular thought to interfere. I was just being me and letting the present unfold itself.

My spirit had lifted to a higher, more secure place instantly, when I channeled my energy into the present moment. My heartbeat slowed and my breath followed suit. I was experiencing the wonderful effects of meditation, not by trying to achieve a sense of peace, but rather by meditating naturally; unconventionally. It is through participating in the present moment and living outside of your head that you will achieve an authentic sense of calm. It is by taking part in the here, the now, and the reality; it is by not focusing on the past and letting go of expectations you may have about the future, that you truly meditate without even trying.

My meditation practice

I have been meditating relatively consistently for about two months. When I first started, I was excited. I found that it did help calm my mind to some extent. However, the effects were not drastic and rather disappointing after the first week. I still felt anxiety and fear looming before, during, and after my meditation. This led me to question the benefits of meditation. I thought to myself, 'Is this doing more harm than good?' 'This might actually be making me feel worse.'

While meditation has not freed me from my anxiety which was my initial hope, the process of meditation has been rather enlightening. My anxiety has not lifted as much as I would like, but I am a work in progress. It has become apparent that meditation is not a cure-all; it's not a magical elixir that can relieve me of all of life's worries. Expecting meditation to instantly provide relief from sadness, pain, or any other negative thought or feeling is unrealistic. When practicing meditation, I need to do away with my expectations. I need not strive for peace and a sense of calm because when I try to achieve serenity, my mind rebels against me, and anxiety takes hold. Likewise, when I try to fight off feelings of pain, hurt, anxiety, sadness, and frustration, these emotions and thoughts intensify. I have realized that trying to get rid of or produce an emotion, has an opposite and undesirable effect.

If you analyze my above-referenced thoughts, you might ask, 'Why can't I strive for anxiety and in turn effectuate happiness and tranquility.' I would conjecture the answer to be: it is difficult to trick yourself into thinking or feeling a certain way. It seems akin to striving for happiness, because isn't that essentially what you're trying to do?

I think the best approach is to just allow your thoughts to flow freely without trying to force anything really. To be honest, I am feeling a bit doubtful and fearful about my next meditation session, because it might lead to the discomfort and anxiety I experienced during tonight's session. However, rather than struggling to ward myself of these negative thoughts, I am going to accept them. After all, I realize that these thoughts will eventually surrender and pass as all thoughts do.